The Breakfast Club

In my hometown, today is the first day of school.  A day filled with excitement, new possibilities and a ton of fear and anxiety for some students and parents (and teachers).  Today I wonder… how many kids are feeling inadequate and doubting themselves?  Who compared themselves to everyone else in the room within 15 minutes and came to a snap decision as to were they rank?  Who is trying to stand out and who is trying desperately to blend into the walls?

No matter what you think about that geek, cheerleader, loser or prom queen, they probably worry about much of the same stuff you do.  We need to personalize each other!  If you’re old school and have seen The Breakfast Club or more recently MTV’s If You Really Knew Me, you can see that we share many of the same personal struggles and can come to a deeper understanding of each other.

For most of us, there is ONE thing that we “think” would make us feel more secure in ALL things.  What is it for you?

Popularity, Beauty, Money, Intelligence, Athleticism, Power …..  a Man??

While any one of these things may make us feel good temporarily, the truth is they could all be gone tomorrow.  Especially that man!  There is only One who will not leave and will not stop loving you.  For this week, lets take Ephesians 2:10 and personalize it just a bit.   Say aloud everyday…. “For I am God’s masterpiece.  He has created me anew in Christ Jesus, so I can do the good things he planned for me long ago.“

Love, I realize that you may not feel that when you hear it or say it.  That is not uncommon!  We beat ourselves up so much that it is hard to accept that we are a “masterpiece.”  For now, just realize that to break the cycle of negative self-talk, we many times need to take action first and the feelings will come later! You have nothing to lose from a little positive affirmation!  Feel free to find or share your own thoughts, quotes or scripture that help you program your mind-set.

Take a leap of faith….help someone….help yourself!

Watch the trailer for If You Really Knew Me.

http://www.mtv.com/videos/misc/528617/if-you-really-knew-me-trailer.jhtml#id=1641680

Value of Healthy Self-Confidence

One of the most terrifying things in the world to me is how to protect my child.  If you are a parent as well, I bet that fear has crept into your bones too.   Our society is so tough on kids and unfortunately we haven’t given them the greatest role models when it comes to feelings of security and dignity.  What are we teaching our kids about the pursuit of beauty, money, status, talent and intelligence?   It is too bad that we use these things like a mirror to see if we are valuable, worthy, successful and significant.

Why do we hand over power to broken humans to measure our acceptability?  Let me tell you something about “that person” you are giving power that makes you feel insecure.   Chances are, they are an insecure mess as well in at least one area of their life!  Permit me to tell you about this guy I once dated.  From the outside, you would have thought he had it all.  Unbelievably HOT, successful at his job and… well … he had an awesome girlfriend   Sadly, his insecurity tore us apart.  He was always fearful of not being number one in his job, could never make a decision on his own, constantly worked on his body to make it perfect (which was kinda nice), spent a ridiculous amount of time in front of the mirror and always fought with me if I even glanced at another guy.  He even broke up with me once just because he was afraid that I might “someday” leave him.  Some thought he had a PRIDE issue, but because I knew him intimately and the crushing fear under which he lived, I knew it was insecurity.  Sometimes the two can be hard to distinguish because arrogance and self-condemnation can live in the same heart and mind. 

Now please don’t think that I am beating up on poor men because we women have the market cornered when it comes to insecurity!  While a man’s insecurity (although he probably won’t call it that) comes mostly from the fear of failure, women’s insecurities come from everywhere else.  Interestingly enough, in the example of my past boyfriend above, I wouldn’t even date him for months because I was afraid I wasn’t good enough for him!  I have to laugh about it now!

We will dive more into causes for insecurity in later posts, but for now, why don’t we just admit that we have them and that we’re going to strive to not allow them to hold us back any longer.  Together (because, YES, I have them too) we are going to learn that we are valuable, worthy and loved no matter the circumstances!  Even if we get rejected by that super cute guy, even if we made horrible decisions in the past, even if we are jobless and broke, even if we had or have destructive families, even if we’ve been abused.

Love, YOU are already accepted and longed for as a daughter of the most high God!  Much of the security work we will do will be biblically based.  The most repetitive instruction given in the bible is “Do not fear!”  Trust that Christ can rescue you from anything!  A couple of scriptures for you to ponder from the New Living Translation.

“The Lord is your security.  He will keep your foot from being caught in a trap.”  Prov. 3:26

“Charm is deceptive and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.”  Prov. 31:30

I started out talking about the value of healthy self-confidence.  What is the value?  What is a positive, healthy relationship worth?  What is it worth to have a child that is secure enough to not fall into peer pressure, drugs, alcohol or sexual promiscuity?  What is it worth to pursue a career that you feel is your purpose and is aligned with your values?  This issue is so big and important that I pray you will help me spread the word.  Please like this post and share it on all of your favorite social media sites.  Although I will be discussing women a lot, I hope that men will join us on this journey as well.  We need more strong, secure and faithful men out there for my 4-year-old son to look up to!  We will also be working on our negative self-talk and taking positive action to overcome insecurity to Elevate You (and me)!